Essay 2.2

Grace Park

3.2.11

Why Chinese Mother’s Are Superior

In Amy Chua’s editorial for the Wall Street Journal, Why Chinese Mother’s Are Superior, Chua stereotypes thousands of Asian mothers and their attitudes on child rearing based entirely through her personal experience. Her bias article, (as she herself is a Chinese parent) gives personal anecdotes of her strict methods of parenting and Chua concludes from it, her authoritative system is what makes her a better parent than other western mothers. Her generalizations seem not only to hold any affirmation but from a personal perspective (as a child of growing up with Asian parents) seem to be exaggerated. Although Chua is not completely wrong since non-western mothers do hold a different view on parenting, her article seems to be three-page testament boasting her cold, mothering skills.

Chua’s entire article is based on assumptions and stereotypes of non-western mothers. She begins by stating “Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.” (Chua, 2) She fails to provide any valid evidence for her supposition other than going on to describe her relations with her daughters. From which the reader can conclude, Chua feels she spends more time pushing her daughters then other parents rather than the subgroup of Asian parents she’s mentioned.  Chua later iterates the strict rules implemented on her children that do not allow for them to attend sleepovers or be in school plays in order for them to become academically successful. Ruth K. Chao Ph.D an associate professor and the University Of California explains

“parenting concepts ‘authoritarian’ and ‘restrictive’ are not very relevant for Asians, although they may be important understanding European-American parenting. Indeed, these concepts are more pertinent to American parenting values in which ‘strictness’ is sometimes equated with manifestations of parental hostility, aggression, mistrust, and dominance. For Asians, parental obedience and some aspects of strictness may be equated with parental concern, caring, or involvement. Just as important, for Asians parental control may not always involve ‘domination’ of children per se, but rather a more organizational type of control for the purpose or goal of keeping the family running smoothly and fostering family harmony.” (Chao, 1112)

Although Chua’s assumption that Asian parents are just as “strict” as she is holds some validity, her portrayal of an Asian mothers, as authoritative parents seems over exaggerated. Due to culture differences, Asian parents may have more involvement in their children’s lives but the harsh treatment portrayed in Chua’s anecdotes are not a clear representation of the type of relationship all Asian parent’s have with their children.

Later in her article, Chua makes her claim that “Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can’t.” (Chua, 3) She goes on to explain that Asian child rearing methods allow parents to be frank with their children where western parents are more cautious and tiptoe around “sensitive” subjects. She reasons with her audience that being blunt with children is a better tactic through a story a friend has told her. She exclaims her western friend felt “like garbage” (Chua, 3) when her father gushed about her. She goes on to give an example of her “better” methods. Forcing her daughter to play the piano against her will for an ungodly amount of time, Chua exclaims her daughter (after many bickering matches) was happy her mother was so forceful. Chua through her article makes the assumption that all Asian parents are blatantly honest (to the point of cruelty) to their children out of love. She claims all Asian parents (like herself) use an authoritative mothering tactic. Contrary to Chua’s claim, Dr. Jean Cheng Gorman (a licensed psychologist from NYU) in her article Parenting Attitudes and Practices of Immigrant Chinese Mothers of Adolescents (Published by the National Council on Family Relations) found in her studies “none of the mothers made any ultimatums, but rather, discussed the matters with their children in a rational manner and left the final decision up to their children.” (Gorman, 75) Although there must be cases of very strict Asian parents such as Chua, there are also strict parents of western ideology. Her claim seems to be an overstatement and unfair as she speaks for million of Asian immigrant mothers.

            As a daughter of two Korean immigrants, I’ve noticed several cultural differences from my peers with parents of western ideals. But the only similarities I see in my mother’s parenting skills and Amy Chua’s is my mother pushed me to get good grades in school. Although my grades came first, as long as I was able to maintain a B average, (which Chua mentions would never happen) my parents allowed me to participate in extracurricular activities such as lacrosse, field hockey, fencing, volleyball and piano. Like many Asian children, I attended tutoring sessions and had a very full academic schedule besides school, but unlike Chua my mother has never called me distressing names if I did poorly in school, nor has she ever punished me to practice my piano. Immigrating to a foreign country, and adapting to a culture they were not accustomed too, my parents have faced a lot of hardship. Understanding that, I feel insulted on their behalf as Chua gives herself the right to talk on behalf of all Chinese, Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian immigrant parents. I was never brought up in such a strict atmosphere and for her personal mothering skills to discredit such a vast amount of mothers (who may disagree with her parenting skills) in a popular journal is harrowing.

            Professors Chin-Yau Lin (University of New York at Gemeseo) and Victoria R. Fu (Virginia Polytechnic Institue and State University) in their journal A Comparison of Child-rearing Practices among Chinese, Immigrant Chinese, and Caucasian-American Parents, analyze the cultural differences of the three subgroups. They conclude many of the Chinese parental values come from Confucian principles. They go on to explain “Definitive views on parental control, obedience, strict discipline, emphasis on education, filial piety, respect for elders, family obligation, reverence for tradition, maintenance of harmony and negation of conflict are attributed to the influence of Confucianism.” (Lin, 429) Because of traditional values of Asian immigrant families, parenting skills differ. It seems to be more family oriented and children are to be more disciplined to respect their parents. In Gorman’s study she sheds light on a different reason to further emphasize a more family oriented child rearing method. She believes “these mothers also felt that mainstream American parents where not as invest in their role as parents ... the majority of the [Chinese] mothers attributed the successful outcomes of their children to parental protective watchfulness and involvement in their children’s daily activities.” (Gorman, 77) Although cultural differences give westerners the notion Asian mother’s are extremely strict, Lin and Fu believe “Thus it seems that parents of Chinese origin, especially fathers, tend to encourage their children to be independent and adaptable...”. (Lin, 432) This leads me to conclude although Asian parents seem to have a tighter grip on their children their motive (similar to westerners) is for their children to become self sufficient and independent thinkers.

            Although some truth lies behind Chua’s argument, her theory that Chinese mother’s are better because they are stricter holds no validity. Her evidence lies solely in personal anecdotes. She transforms hard working Asian mothers that struggle as parents raising children in a different culture to sinister, authoritative figures that treat their children despotically. Although differences lie between the two parenting methods, Chua’s depiction of Asian parenting seems exaggerated. As Asian parents tend to be stricter research show no proof of the harshness illustrated in Chua’s article.

Works Cited

Chua, Amy. “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior.” The Wall Street Journal. 8 January 2011. Web. 16 February 2011.

Gorman, Jean Cheng. “Attitudes and Practices of Immigrant Chinese Mothers of Adolescents.” National Council on Family Relations 47.1 (1998): 73-80. JSTOR. Web. 25 February. 2011.

Lin, Chin-Yau Cindy. and Victoria R. Fu. “A comparison of Child Rearing Practice among CHinese, Immigrant Chinese, and Caucasian American Parents.” Blackwell Publishing 61. 2 (1990): 429-433. JSTOR. Web. 25 February. 2011.

Chao, Ruth K. "Beyond Parental Control and Authoritarian Parenting Style: Understanding Chinese Parenting Through the Cultural Notion of Training." Child Development 64.4 (1994): 1111-1119. JSTOR. Web. 19 Mar. 2011.